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Strength is determined through trials

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I go to bed early tonight because I am exhausted. Primarily from taking care of newborn puppies but also from drama.

I try to lead my life with as little drama as possible. Which means I am very discriminating when it comes to friends, who I allow in my life, and all that extra goodness. I guard myself carefully and though I do, I have a wide network of people I call friends, which can even include someone I meet and say hi to.

Instant friend!

But...

That doesn't mean I trust them completely.
I rarely trust anyone completely.
Just the life I've lived, I have learned hard lessons.
Nobody can be trusted 100% and the moment you do, you've handed your life over to them.
You just can't do that.
I won't do that.

However, I give a large amount of trust to anyone and everyone I meet... until they prove untrustworthy. It may get me hurt a lot but I just don't live my life that way. I refuse to. Otherwise life has won and I've become hard. When it's so much funner being bubbly!!

Ahem.

I may cut people a break once or twice for mistakes, but otherwise when you've broken my trust, you're done.

I'm done.

It always makes me wonder, just who can we trust?

You know the media will lie to you for ratings, as any TV program. You know your family and friends will if they think what they say may hurt you. Strangers are usually ones to tell you the truth as they aren't emotionally invested in the outcome, but then the can't properly advise you if they don't really know you for some things anyway.

So who should you trust?

I've ended a friendship with someone I never thought I would because they talked behind my back. One of the few things I just don't tolerate. Especially not when it boils down to them feeling inferior to everyone and they're just trying to "fit in." They are not a child. Everything we do has a repurcution.

Our actions always have consequences. And we are responsible for them. We must live with them.

You don't talk behind my back. You come to me. We discuss. You don't spread things about people that have nothing o do with you, and that your sister trusted you with either. You just don't do those things.

But I should've known better
Like Robyn's song: I should've fuckin' known.

I am not as sad as I thought I'd be. (Yes, I figured this day would come.) Maybe because I just "knew." A part of me knew it wasn't meant to be. Our friendship had obviously died long ago, I just kept hoping it would hold on longer. Which was why I had told them my feelings for them sooner than I usually ever did with people. Now I know, and understand, why I did that. Before I never would've and before I couldn't figure out WHY I felt I had to do so.

It was a chapter that I needed to close...
and I did.

Should've just jumped that ship long before!

But we live and learn.
And keep learning... and learning...

Hugs and kisses and more to come!
Til next time!!




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Comments

  1. EllaJune 19, 2011 at 11:19 AM

    I love your honesty and your down to earth manner of just speaking your mind. I think that is part of trust isn't it? When I meet someone like yourself, who is very sincere, open and lays it all on the table plainly, I am more apt to want to trust them. So from what I sense after reading some of your entries, I see someone that fits the role of having characteristics of a trustworthy person. You value trust.....which sadly alot of people these days (maybe it's the present culture which TV and the tabloid mentality breed?) do not value this highly valuable character quality.

    I do as you, I share openly and offer myself to all friends. What they choose to do with that is entirely up to them. And that's when you see if they are trustworthy. But it is wise to hold some very private things back, until they have shown (over time) they are trustworthy.

    Sadly, there are those moments we have to say good-bye when someone is toxic in our lives. But that is a necessary part of maturing in our lives, when we learn to say necessary good-byes.

    There's a quote I included at the beginning of one of my blog entries that's applicable for any relationships including friendships: http://singleparentfaith.blogspot.com/2011/04/reason-to-let-go-reason-to-heal.html

    Thanks for sharing. I am so glad I came to your blog!! (from for the love of blogs site)

    May you be Blessed with abundant enduring and golden friendships!!!
    -Ella

    ReplyDelete
  2. A.H. Browne @ ahbrowne.comJune 20, 2011 at 8:40 PM

    Hi Ella! :)
    Thank you so much, I appreciate your honesty. The same way I write, is how I am in real life, I've told people. Too much work trying to be different! :) I checked out your blog, and that post. I will have to follow your writing. That post hit home. Very good writing and I loooooove that quote. I happened to just come across it the other day somewhere else and fell in love with it. Hi, I'm a quotaholic. lol

    Thanks so much for coming by, reading, and commenting!

    ReplyDelete
  3. A.H. Browne @ ahbrowne.comJune 20, 2011 at 8:41 PM

    Oh! And I added you to my featured friends/blogs page! :)

    ReplyDelete

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