I'm sometimes surprised at the way I stick with my writing. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love to write. What I mean by that is that I am not the most committed to anything. I'll rephrase. I don't commit. Period. I don't know why I hate it so much, why I fight it so much. I simply grow bored far too easy and move on. I haven't learned to stick with something for long. It some ways that's a good thing, in others, not so much.
I don't know why that is either. I think, okay now this I'm going to stay with. Then I get bored and if it's not working in some way, I am completely done. No turning back, no passing go. Hop off the train and run to catch the next one, or make a new one and make my own darn way.
With my writing though, I've been at it since I was 18 and I still get the same rush. I used that as a quote on my website right now. (If you haven't stopped by, come see the new colors and alterations on my site.)
And I did. Then my dad died and I couldn't bring myself to do it for a few years. But sure enough, that niggling began and I started up once more. One of those stories that brought me back to short story writing, but then ended up turning into a full-length novel, was Dark Illusions: The Beginning. However, when I wrote it, I thought I was so darn original! I called it Awakening. Totally never heard that, eh? That's why the name was changed.
Writing has certainly took hold of my heart. Even those moments where I grow bored and can't seem to get to writing much, I hold on. Sometimes I take a complete break from it for a few weeks. I do it not only because I still get my books done within my 6 month time-frame, but I know my own soul. If I'm forced or pressured into anything, it turns into work. And with my freedom loving wild soul? I'll be done with it the second it's no longer pleasurable.
It's hard work. Anyone who ever looks behind-the-scenes for a writer will figure that much out. It is hard. work. Not just anyone can be a writer. You have to be willing to be alone with your own soul. That's a wholly different enterprise than being alone with your thoughts. Your soul holds deep dark shadows that may end up earning you some major cutting remarks, maybe people won't like the writing, maybe you won't want to even write it, but as Stephen King says, (paraphrasing) you have to be true to the story. That means writing passages you don't want to. Writing words you may hate. Writing characters that you yourself want to kill off. But if you're not true to that story, the reader will know and reader will not like it. Something will be off. I am a reader, first. So I know exactly how that feels and I no likies.
It's not just the writing that's hard, but then the long hours of reading and reading and reading. Editing, editing, editing. Continuous cross examination of the same sentence over and over until it feels right, and reads properly to get the point across.
I won't bore you. You're intelligent enough to realize how much work goes into writing.
I have been at this casually and now professionally for nearly 16 years. I only went professional about 2-3 years ago to do this for my career. Before it was mostly just a half-assed idea of enjoyment. I just wanted to write these things down that were in my head. Most of my storylines come from my dreams, as most of you know. I'd grown up writing down my dreams because I started to notice how a lot of them came true, and I wanted to see just how many came true.
I have this deal with my brain where it loves to show me things going to happen, but in dream form. I get these feelings and senses of what will come--that's where Kat in Dark Illusions gets it from--before they happen. I never know when, I never know the time period, and the dreams being dreams will sometimes show it in a different way. Like all the events will happen in one dream, but in fact, each part of the dream is an individual occurrence and event. Or the dream will show me what happens, but in a different way. Not sure how to explain that.
I started writing my dreams down and comparing them with what transpired in my life so now I can interpret them fairly well. It happens when I wake too. As Kat experiences in Dark Illusions she will see someone's intentions or will, or sometimes the vision smacks her in the face. I don't have visions that attack me the way Kat does--wouldn't be as fun for someone to read that if I kept to reality--but my mind is definitely open to wherever those gifts come from. Of course I may be more like Kat if I didn't also possess a scientists brain who doubts it every time it happens. Fighting the way you are doesn't help you in any way. Some people call them sensitives. People sensitive to the vibrations of the earth, I suppose? I don't know.
Turns out my dreams make great story ideas as well, so a lot of the time my outlines are just the dreams written down. What the characters do is up to them. Most of the time the characters enjoy diverting from the original "plan" so I never really plan where they go. I don't know where a story ends, any more than you do that first time you grab one.
What I love most about writing is that rush I feel. It's not a tidal wave, but a bit of a whisper along my skin, within my soul. It drifts within, fills me with happiness, and rightness we shall call it. When a person reads one of my books, they walk within my head. How frightening is that?
I spend months there when I write the books, then months again while I edit. So we're both taking a trip through my mind in that case. Can you imagine being stuck alone in that atmosphere? Freaky. Yes, I'm referring to my own brain. What's always interesting to me in some ways is how quiet I am in real life. But my books? That's where my brain is when I'm being quiet. If I'm not anazlying the laws of nature, or why humans behave a certain way, my brain is walking through those stories. That brain is rarely as quiet as I am.
I remember a psychic, or a fortune teller, not sure who she was, that came up to my parents and brother when we were down at the waterfront in Kirkland once. She may still be around there (her name was Rose) as her business was a block away. Anyway, she appeared out of nowhere and told my parents that I would grow up to be a scientist because I was always thinking when I was quiet. She said I'd be someone very important. Now, I'm not sure what possessed her to come up to them, or why she felt it important to tell us that, but she had the thinking part down. I think that goes for anyone who is quiet though. Our mouths may not be moving, but them brains usually are.
I can't say for sure if I will love writing every day, as much as the day before, but I hope so. I have hundreds of ideas for stories, for books, and they don't stop coming. I have notes all over my desk of ideas for the books I am working on, for characters that suddenly choose to pop up and say hi in my dreams. Subtle characters that I wake up and wonder why they'd even appear, but something about them holds my attention until I write them down. Don't know where they will end up, but I have them sitting on the bench, hoping I can send them into the game.
I never imagined this being the place I would end up, or that this would be what I wanted to do, but honestly? I love it. I'm grateful for the opportunity, for my muse that trusts me and loves me enough that I receive massive amounts of ideas. I know that I'm fortunate. Not everyone has that luck. Many struggle for ideas. I have pages full, and more coming. I'm also grateful, and hope always to remember the most important part, next to how much I love to write, and that's how much people love to read my books. The people who've read my books and who write me are amazing people. I couldn't ask for a better group of individuals. Even the ones who offer critiques. I'm sure most may not feel that way, but I appreciate them. A friend of mine, Jave, used to tell me something I have never forgotten,
I love what I do.
I don't know why that is either. I think, okay now this I'm going to stay with. Then I get bored and if it's not working in some way, I am completely done. No turning back, no passing go. Hop off the train and run to catch the next one, or make a new one and make my own darn way.
With my writing though, I've been at it since I was 18 and I still get the same rush. I used that as a quote on my website right now. (If you haven't stopped by, come see the new colors and alterations on my site.)
Certain things catch your eye, but pursue only those that capture the heart. – Ancient Indian ProverbWhen I was 18 it was just seeing if I could commit to writing one short story every year. Every Halloween to be more specific.
And I did. Then my dad died and I couldn't bring myself to do it for a few years. But sure enough, that niggling began and I started up once more. One of those stories that brought me back to short story writing, but then ended up turning into a full-length novel, was Dark Illusions: The Beginning. However, when I wrote it, I thought I was so darn original! I called it Awakening. Totally never heard that, eh? That's why the name was changed.
Writing has certainly took hold of my heart. Even those moments where I grow bored and can't seem to get to writing much, I hold on. Sometimes I take a complete break from it for a few weeks. I do it not only because I still get my books done within my 6 month time-frame, but I know my own soul. If I'm forced or pressured into anything, it turns into work. And with my freedom loving wild soul? I'll be done with it the second it's no longer pleasurable.
It's hard work. Anyone who ever looks behind-the-scenes for a writer will figure that much out. It is hard. work. Not just anyone can be a writer. You have to be willing to be alone with your own soul. That's a wholly different enterprise than being alone with your thoughts. Your soul holds deep dark shadows that may end up earning you some major cutting remarks, maybe people won't like the writing, maybe you won't want to even write it, but as Stephen King says, (paraphrasing) you have to be true to the story. That means writing passages you don't want to. Writing words you may hate. Writing characters that you yourself want to kill off. But if you're not true to that story, the reader will know and reader will not like it. Something will be off. I am a reader, first. So I know exactly how that feels and I no likies.
It's not just the writing that's hard, but then the long hours of reading and reading and reading. Editing, editing, editing. Continuous cross examination of the same sentence over and over until it feels right, and reads properly to get the point across.
I won't bore you. You're intelligent enough to realize how much work goes into writing.
I have been at this casually and now professionally for nearly 16 years. I only went professional about 2-3 years ago to do this for my career. Before it was mostly just a half-assed idea of enjoyment. I just wanted to write these things down that were in my head. Most of my storylines come from my dreams, as most of you know. I'd grown up writing down my dreams because I started to notice how a lot of them came true, and I wanted to see just how many came true.
I have this deal with my brain where it loves to show me things going to happen, but in dream form. I get these feelings and senses of what will come--that's where Kat in Dark Illusions gets it from--before they happen. I never know when, I never know the time period, and the dreams being dreams will sometimes show it in a different way. Like all the events will happen in one dream, but in fact, each part of the dream is an individual occurrence and event. Or the dream will show me what happens, but in a different way. Not sure how to explain that.
I started writing my dreams down and comparing them with what transpired in my life so now I can interpret them fairly well. It happens when I wake too. As Kat experiences in Dark Illusions she will see someone's intentions or will, or sometimes the vision smacks her in the face. I don't have visions that attack me the way Kat does--wouldn't be as fun for someone to read that if I kept to reality--but my mind is definitely open to wherever those gifts come from. Of course I may be more like Kat if I didn't also possess a scientists brain who doubts it every time it happens. Fighting the way you are doesn't help you in any way. Some people call them sensitives. People sensitive to the vibrations of the earth, I suppose? I don't know.
Turns out my dreams make great story ideas as well, so a lot of the time my outlines are just the dreams written down. What the characters do is up to them. Most of the time the characters enjoy diverting from the original "plan" so I never really plan where they go. I don't know where a story ends, any more than you do that first time you grab one.
What I love most about writing is that rush I feel. It's not a tidal wave, but a bit of a whisper along my skin, within my soul. It drifts within, fills me with happiness, and rightness we shall call it. When a person reads one of my books, they walk within my head. How frightening is that?
I spend months there when I write the books, then months again while I edit. So we're both taking a trip through my mind in that case. Can you imagine being stuck alone in that atmosphere? Freaky. Yes, I'm referring to my own brain. What's always interesting to me in some ways is how quiet I am in real life. But my books? That's where my brain is when I'm being quiet. If I'm not anazlying the laws of nature, or why humans behave a certain way, my brain is walking through those stories. That brain is rarely as quiet as I am.
I remember a psychic, or a fortune teller, not sure who she was, that came up to my parents and brother when we were down at the waterfront in Kirkland once. She may still be around there (her name was Rose) as her business was a block away. Anyway, she appeared out of nowhere and told my parents that I would grow up to be a scientist because I was always thinking when I was quiet. She said I'd be someone very important. Now, I'm not sure what possessed her to come up to them, or why she felt it important to tell us that, but she had the thinking part down. I think that goes for anyone who is quiet though. Our mouths may not be moving, but them brains usually are.
I can't say for sure if I will love writing every day, as much as the day before, but I hope so. I have hundreds of ideas for stories, for books, and they don't stop coming. I have notes all over my desk of ideas for the books I am working on, for characters that suddenly choose to pop up and say hi in my dreams. Subtle characters that I wake up and wonder why they'd even appear, but something about them holds my attention until I write them down. Don't know where they will end up, but I have them sitting on the bench, hoping I can send them into the game.
I never imagined this being the place I would end up, or that this would be what I wanted to do, but honestly? I love it. I'm grateful for the opportunity, for my muse that trusts me and loves me enough that I receive massive amounts of ideas. I know that I'm fortunate. Not everyone has that luck. Many struggle for ideas. I have pages full, and more coming. I'm also grateful, and hope always to remember the most important part, next to how much I love to write, and that's how much people love to read my books. The people who've read my books and who write me are amazing people. I couldn't ask for a better group of individuals. Even the ones who offer critiques. I'm sure most may not feel that way, but I appreciate them. A friend of mine, Jave, used to tell me something I have never forgotten,
"you can't become a better writer if you don't receive constructive criticism."
I love what I do.
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