I was working out in the yard the other day (my big inspiration time) and I couldn't help but think about relationships that we have with people.
I was thinking (I do that a lot I know) about how none of us really wants someone to build their lives around us and make us their entire happiness, or who we are, but then, isn't that what we end up doing?
Think about it. So many older couples, or couples who've been together longer than a year end up doing so much together and losing a huge part of themselves into relationships. I'm not talking about being co-dependent or anything like that mind you. Simply things we, in the beginning, fear the other person doing. After all, we all know that to be truly happy as a couple, you need to be happy separate from each other as well: having your own hobbies and interests, friends and relationships with others outside of each other.
But what's interesting to note is that when you are a part of a couple you do more things together alone, without friends; you end up compromising (some may call it sacrificing in the beginning, or the people who have a heavy desire not to be in relationships) on some things to keep the peace, or just to truly make each other happy because for you and them, it isn't something bad, but really, something which makes you happy to do so.
That's what's interesting about that however. Those are some of the very same things, that in the beginning of meeting someone, or getting into a relationship with them which will make us freak. out. We see someone placing too much of their happiness into our hands and we go eep! Well... come on. That's pretty much exactly what we'll end up doing. Going "eep!" Okay fine, maybe I do it.
Even more interesting is that the happiest older couples do tend to be mostly about their other half. They enjoy being with the other person (and fighting cutely--that's a real word I'm sure) and doing a lot of things together. They may certainly have their own hobbies and interests outside of each other, but they like being in the general vicinity of each other and placing a lot of their happiness in each other's hands. In other words, their hearts. I know my grandparents lived with each other, happily married, and play-fighting, until the day they each passed away. Though he tinkered in the garage, and she tinkered in the kitchen, (I also think it was their traditional values and way they lived with each other that helped) they were always right there with each other, happily living their lives together, and not being afraid of being together. Of placing their hearts and happiness in the hands of the other. Because without one another they felt a loss like nothing could ever replace. To the point where my own grandparents passed within months of each other. That is how in love with each other they were, and how much of their happiness was missing without the other.
So what is it that makes us fear the other person putting so much of their happiness in our hands? Why does the thought of that really scare us off most of the time? I know for me, it does.
Hugs and kisses and more to come!
Till next time, stay tuned for more!!
I was thinking (I do that a lot I know) about how none of us really wants someone to build their lives around us and make us their entire happiness, or who we are, but then, isn't that what we end up doing?
Think about it. So many older couples, or couples who've been together longer than a year end up doing so much together and losing a huge part of themselves into relationships. I'm not talking about being co-dependent or anything like that mind you. Simply things we, in the beginning, fear the other person doing. After all, we all know that to be truly happy as a couple, you need to be happy separate from each other as well: having your own hobbies and interests, friends and relationships with others outside of each other.
But what's interesting to note is that when you are a part of a couple you do more things together alone, without friends; you end up compromising (some may call it sacrificing in the beginning, or the people who have a heavy desire not to be in relationships) on some things to keep the peace, or just to truly make each other happy because for you and them, it isn't something bad, but really, something which makes you happy to do so.
That's what's interesting about that however. Those are some of the very same things, that in the beginning of meeting someone, or getting into a relationship with them which will make us freak. out. We see someone placing too much of their happiness into our hands and we go eep! Well... come on. That's pretty much exactly what we'll end up doing. Going "eep!" Okay fine, maybe I do it.
Even more interesting is that the happiest older couples do tend to be mostly about their other half. They enjoy being with the other person (and fighting cutely--that's a real word I'm sure) and doing a lot of things together. They may certainly have their own hobbies and interests outside of each other, but they like being in the general vicinity of each other and placing a lot of their happiness in each other's hands. In other words, their hearts. I know my grandparents lived with each other, happily married, and play-fighting, until the day they each passed away. Though he tinkered in the garage, and she tinkered in the kitchen, (I also think it was their traditional values and way they lived with each other that helped) they were always right there with each other, happily living their lives together, and not being afraid of being together. Of placing their hearts and happiness in the hands of the other. Because without one another they felt a loss like nothing could ever replace. To the point where my own grandparents passed within months of each other. That is how in love with each other they were, and how much of their happiness was missing without the other.
So what is it that makes us fear the other person putting so much of their happiness in our hands? Why does the thought of that really scare us off most of the time? I know for me, it does.
Hugs and kisses and more to come!
Till next time, stay tuned for more!!
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